28w1d and off a couple meds...

So, since my blood pressure has been remarkable low, like 110's over 50's Dr S took me off one of my BP meds yesterday, this am at 5 it was still low, like 118/57, just now it was 139/72, which is still considered ok, i hope it stays in the ok range, i don't want to become dramatic with labile BP's again!

He also made my Ativan "NPR" which means I need to request it if i want it...we shall see how this goes, the Ativan is the anti anxiety, which I don't need all the time, I had told him i refused it Sunday when Ray came to watch movies with me, I am just hoping I do ok without it. I was getting it at 5 am and 1pm - and truthfully it just chills me out, makes me a little sleepy, and I read do do whatever it takes to get through the days here...hopefully i can continue that without getting too...whatever...worked up in my own worries and stuff....

Guard changes tomorrow, so I will be seeing Dr O, but Sr S ordered the u/s already for Thursday he said- so that is cool, i will get out of this room for this first time in a couple of weeks, lol- to be wheeled downstairs and through a hallway, but heck, i will take what i can get!

Catherine

Had dinner with hubby

Raymond came and spent a few hours with me after work today, renewed my spirit - here is to another week-

Good news also, no decels on tonights strip either!

Thank you all for your comments on the last post, man, it was a hard day, but i do think I am over it :-)

Catherine

27w5d

dr s was in, our next u/s will be next thursday for growth fluid and doppler, then weekly doppler us for placenta function .

I am a mess today, i am beyong homesick and lonely, i SO want to sleep in the same bed as my husband and wake up in the same house as my kids, to fix dinner, to be there when the kids leave for and get home from school. Life hasnt been the same since the middle of August, and I am so wanting it back. I am just praying Sam is a permanent addition to our household and we can be a family, the way we are supposed to be.

I am trying to get over my extreme sadness of today tho, because there is no reason, nothing has changed for the worse, in fact my last couple strips on the baby have looked better, no big decels -

I just want to sit here and weep, and am not sure how to move past it right at this moment...

Catherine

Quick update

Dr O was in, said if i have any contractions to hook up to the moniter to see what the baby does, if they increase he will put me on meds. Doesn't care whether they are painless or not, they still squeeze the baby... so I will be paying attention to that...

Decals....

Well, Little Sam likes to decel during any sort of contraction- I have only had Braxton Hicks contractions, just simple tightening of the uterus, but Sam says no way, way to tight for me mom, and the HB drops to the 90's, then i lose it on the monitor, have to turn over to onto my side to get it back, so i dont know actually how long it takes Sam to recover, just know when i move back from my side it is normal again.

Dr mentioned yesterday that these strips will determine when the baby is born, the baby will tell us when enough is enough and it is time to get out. I just pray we catch it in a timely manner, God forbid something happen before then.

This is getting to kind of a scary time, because i have seen a decel on 3 of the last 4 strips, one wasn't related to a contraction, so hopefully if i stay sitting up or on my side we can avoid those BH contractions and keep baby baking another month or so, I pray.

Catherine

27 weeks!

Just one more week until the 28 week milestone, there is something about week 28 which make the medical staff happy, so we will be happy to reach it!

A little bump in the road this am, Sam had a pretty significant deceleration on the monitoring strip this am, big enough that the Dr wanted me to do a second strip a little later. I did, and all look ed well, I think little Sam was rolling onto the cord again, something we need to watch out for-

A am trying my best to either be sitting up or lying on either side now, as in my unmedical opinion the reclining or lying flat on the back position is putting too much gravity between baby and cord with the low level of fluid we have.

Dr O has been my Dr this week, as Dr S has been out of town at a conference, they are in the same Peri practice but it is Dr S who schedules ultrasounds and such, when he is back Thursday I assume he will tell me i will have an u/s scheduled for the following week, at 28w+. I feel like the baby has grown, so I sure hope the u/s reflects that too.

Tuesday marks the 3 week mark here - and today marks the 35 day mark till 32 weeks- i can do 35 more days right? I hope Sam can wait at least 35 days too -

Catherine

26w3d

Sorry guys for not updating more regularly sometimes typing on the laptop is much harder than just reading when you are doing it from bed! Hospital life is pretty boring when nothing extraordinary is going on (which i wont complain about...)

I am good and baby is hanging in there, with decent 2x a day tracings - my bp is totally under control which i am so thankful for- we have had a couple significant decels in the strips, but i have found if i can manage to get onto my left side a bit during that hour I dont have them, it is just hard because i am plus sized, and it is hard to keep the heartbeat without being on my back.

So for now, it is one day at a time, the Dr said my the last u/s showed the cord resistance being "so normal" he wasn't going to do another u/s for 3 weeks, and that will be for growth, so at 29 weeks another u/s, i am 26w3d now - just biding my time till i hit 28, then 30, and hopefully all the way to 34, we can hope for a 3 lber at 34 weeks, which would be awesome...

I still get moments a couple days a week where i feel the profound sadness of what isn't, that this isn't a routine pg, that i am not at home with my husband and children, but I do know i am in the best spot i can be for the baby and we have a good chance of coming home when all is said and done as a happy family of 5, so it is worth it.


Cath

25w6d and more about thursdays u/s

The doctor actually used a couple words i didnt think i would hear from him the other day

"Cautiously Optimistic"

wow...more on the ultrasound, he wasnt disappointed about any of it, even the fluid, i guess it is a little more than he expected to see with the hospital radiology dept measuring, and the cord flow resistance is much better than expected- so for now we are status quo, if the size measurement is on it means this little one picked up 7 oz in 9 days, i feel all i am doing here is eating and sleeping, so maybe that is just what s/he needs? Speaking of he or she, the tech tried for a couple min to tell, but babies legs are SO close together because of the lack of fluid, there is just no way to tell, it will be the mystery of the pregnancy for us, unless a later u/s shows us something!

Baby is heads down, so hopefully this will help Sam stay off the cord, as the placenta is top left of my uterus, dr even said it may allow a vaginal birth, man, that made we cry with joy - but later than evening during the NST baby had a pretty severe decel during a brackton hicks, so as much as i would love a vaginal birth, i am not into Russian roulette! I think we will opt for safety of course...

My parents brought Christopher here to see me, and it was so good to see all of them, Chris wrote some star was stuff on my white board, had a soda i saved for him and climbed into bed with me for a bit- no artwork for my window yet tho! still waiting on that....

Both kids are coming here with Ray tomorrow, i can believe it is night 12 tonight, and I haven't seen Caroline yet! She has been very busy of course, and a Freshman in highschool is- she had homecoming last night after the home game where she was in the halftime show, I need to see how it was, she may actually be awake now, as it is 11:20 :-)

Catherine

U/S results today

u/s today, good news is baby is growing, looks like it is maintaining its almost 3 weeks behind, but not falling any more behind- and baby weighs 1.1 lbs now, happy to break the 1 lb mark-

fluid is still barely there, 1.17 cm, praying for lung development

Talked to the Dr about "Plans"

So after talking to the Dr the biggest risk to the baby at this point of the game is a cord accident- i told him about a pretty big decel i saw on the strip a couple nights ago, he said that is the babies weight on the cord... praying Sam keeps off his cord!

I have an u/s tomorrow, he is gonna try to be there, but it just may be a hospital tech, so I might not get any info till later, but told me not to be disappointed if we don't see any further improvement in fluid of cord flow- I asked him what the ultimate plan is- he said we will just keep going as we are, until the baby shows signs of not thriving inside meor until 34 weeks when they will deliver. The risk as the baby gets bigger is what I posted above, cord accidents, what a tricky catch 22, i don't like it...we will just keep praying.

No decels on this am's strip tho, so that is good-

I will update later,

Catherine

Long day today day 8

Today just dragged on and on, I can't wait till tomorrow night when Raymond can come and see me! I am not gonna like Monday's and Tuesday's much, i can tell that now - Ray has the kids and very busy at work, but i can look forward to seeing him Wednesdays for dinner, which is nice!

I will have an u/s on Thursday. Not for growth but for fluid and hopefully placental condition.

Sammy has been moving a bit more today, I think he is in a different position because I am feeling movements up higher.

I think my parents are bringing Christopher to see me Friday afternoon, which will be a treat! He has a half day at school.

I have given the kids the job of decorating my window, as i dont have any view but the side of a building anyway, i need to decorations, we shall see if they come up with anything...

Catherine
only 4.5 hours till I am done with this day!

48 days until 32 Weeks...

25 weeks today

25 weeks today, hurray for another week down...

Points of interest- i am now in a private room! I am thrilled beyond belief, and although i lost my beautiful view of the trees in the part for a side of a building, i have my own room, big enough that Ray could stay 1 night a week comfortably and it has a nicely working air system, the other room seemed hot all afternoon.

My 24 hr urine test this week came back at 450, which is MY scheme of things is great, seeing it was over 1200 on 9/3 when i was in here last. I came down to 500 by the time i left on 9/11, and is evidently holding its own, which means my body has more time to bake this baby- they wont let that number got over 5ooo, so we are looking good for now.

Sammy's tracings have looked good- we had such a hard time finding the little bugger yesterday to keep it on the monitor, but finally we won over, this am was easier.

I didnt get to see my older kiddos today, REALLY bummed me out, but i am fairly certain the confusion at bay today wont happen again, as it means so much for me to see them, once a week is hardly enough, but by the time i see them next Sunday it will almost be 2 weeks!

My blood pressure decided to really act up for a couple hours a couple days ago, they rushed an IV in my after the 4th high reading, went to get the BP med, and my bp was down again, (without the med) and has continued to be that was since, weird huh?

So, for today's trivia...you know how much the insurance is billed when the Dr comes in the chat in the am, today's chat was like this

Dr. How are you today?
Me, fine, excuse me(takes a drink of water) my mouth is dry
Dr. Yeah, it was cold this am, i got here at 4, the heaters are cranked up in the hospital.
Me. Ah..Well I am feeling as I have been
Dr. Great, have a good day.

Cost to insurance? $239 - they pay him $129 of that - cool huh?

Doing ok and thankful

I am actually doing ok the last day, emotionally and physically. Now that I have recovered some of my 'mind' I really feel bad for the emotional roller coaster I have put Raymond through the last 10 days, especially the last couple days before I came back here. I was truly unstable. Having Ray as a rock solid partner in my life is more blessing that I can even describe, I can rely on him as I have never been able to do with another person since I left my parents at 22.

This is as hard on him as it is on me, and I just pray to give him and our family a healthy new addition in the next 2.5 months (remember the long inside me the less time in NICU!)

The baby's heart rate tracings have been easier to do than I thought, Sam seems to co-operate most of the hour. As an added bonus because of the pressure the little monitoring thing puts on my belly, i can actually feel the baby kick against it, I think Ray could feel the baby on the outside if we were patient enough to lay still that long and wait, lol - or we can just wait till the baby is a little bigger.

Speaking of size, we have a ways to go, at the u/s on Tues baby Sam was about 13 oz - I really want this baby to weigh over 2 lbs, preferably closer to 3, which would be right on track for a 32-34 week delivery.

28 weeks at a bare minimum is we want, which is 10-28 - my dad and nephews bday! lets not make it 3 though, lets hold out longer...

32 weeks is 11/25, the Sunday before Thanksgiving, which would be something to be tremendously thankful for...

and 34 weeks, which is only how long they think the placenta may be able to keep working right til, is 12/9 - and as long as that sounds, that is the date I am praying for.

That is all for now, thank you all for your prayers and good wishes - they seem to be working!

What I am Reading

Fran on FF asked me what sort of books I like - hands down, I enjoy epic fantasy - right now i am reading the last 2 books in a series of 6 by the author Jennifer Roberson. The series is "The Novels of Tiger and Del" The first 4 books got me through the last 10 days at home in anticipation of this hospital stay (i was at about panic attack level for a few of them!)

Next up is the first series of books she wrote-"The Cheysuli Series"

I think one of the reason I enjoy the epic fantasy genre so much is because it is like getting a book with 4k pages, no need to "get started" with a new book. Especially with completed series, just get the next one and keep going.

I found this author randomly at Barnes and Nobel a couple weeks ago, was just looking for some big books to get me through the next few weeks, easy reading and entertaining - just my level right now :-P

Catherine

My Tuesday Update @ 24w2d from my new home -aka room 221

Hi All,

Well I am here in the hospital, and situated- have my high speed internet, my books, and so far just me in the room, it isnt a private room, but no roomie yet. They tell me because of my "long term" status I am next up for a private room tho...

I have a little bit of encouraging news I have a tiny bit more fluid, he didnt give me a number but said a little more than last week, but still severe oligaminious(sp) but i will take every little bit i can get-

Baby is measuring all together 3 weeks small- but...Sam's little head is keeping up better than his/her abdomen, called asymetrical IUGR - head measured 22w5d, I am 24w2 - so it has actually caught up a little since my first diagnosis, as it was 2 weeks behind at 19w5d(meaured 17w5d) the femur is 21w something and the abdomen 19w6 or something - this asymetrical iugr is called a "brain sparing effect" evidentally the baby knows where it is most important to grow, and the rest can catch up- dr seemed pleased S was growing.

I told my doctor about nancys story, and told him it gives me hope- he said, Catherine, we have to have hope, otherwise we wouldnt be here- which made me very happy-

I got my first steroid shot for the baby's lungs today, and will get the second one tomorrow-

I am not extermely pleased with the first 1 hr monitoring strip they did of the baby, there was one deceleration where the HB went into the teens, and otherwise stayed pretty even in the 140s, but i think they are wanting to see accelerations...

Second strip of the day didnt show any decels, just a nice strong HB between 135 and 150

They are doing 2 one hour strips a day, and u/s 1x per week...I am still not sure how i am going to do 2 months here, lol - it is gonna be a long haul, i will do whatever i need to the baby, but jeez, this is gonna be "interesting"- I am better emotionally, not crying etc-

I pray it stays as boring as it is today, because it means baby is behaving and my bp/etc is undercontrol, but hope i can get into some sort of daily groove, so the days pass quickly....

Thank you all for your good thoughts and prayers, they helped me this am as i prepared to leave the house, will update tomorrow-

Catherine