32w4d - Sam co-operates!

I had my non stress test this am, and for the first time in 3 appts, Mr. Sam co-operates and shows nice accells on his strip! It was an easy quick appt (kinda, not really quick, but easy, lol)

I am facing a 'nesting' dilemma - with all the heartache we had in the middle of this pregnancy, I am VERY hesitant in buying anything for the baby. We won't need much in the beginning, and Ray can go out and get a car seat after Sam is here and healthy. But I am going to have to break down and buy a couple packs of receiving blankets at the very least, and probably some t's or sleepers, as those things have to be washed before he wears them. I am assuming he will be born a peanut, so will just get a couple of packs of newborn gowns probably.

Is this silly of me? I think it is a little bit of self preservation, but just wait till after he is home with us, no holding me back then!

December 1st tomorrow, I would have never thought we would make it this far and be in such good shape to boot, I am SO thankful! I am hoping December flies by, I am 36 weeks at Christmas, and 37w at new years and it will be time to have a baby before we know it, I can't wait, I am ready to meet this little boy.

Thanks all for all the good thoughts, I will update after our growth scan on Monday, I am hoping to see an almost 3lber then.

Catherine

32w1d

Sam was pretty quiet for todays u/s, but looked good- Dr said all was fine and we would do a growth u/s with the BPP next Monday.

He doesnt seem to be moving as much as he was, but maybe this is just because he is getting bigger and a little more crowded- they had to prod him to get movement, but when poked he moved, so, I am thankful to be 32 weeks and have things be uneventful :-)

Dr says we may do an amnio for lung development at 37 weeks, and go from there, so if all stays stable, I assume this baby will be born between the 7th and 15th of January.

Thank you all for you thoughts and prayers! I am vowing to take it easy this week, i kinda overdid it over the weekend, but i told the Dr I went shopping, he said there isnt really any reason I can't, but for my own peace of mind don't overdue. School is in session for the kiddos, so it will be easy to not do much...

Catherine

Stubborn? 31w2d

Sam was a little stubborn this am, not many accells on the NST, so they did an u/s for the biophysical profile, he is so very cute, was moving around and stretching out his body, but again stubborn, and wouldnt show us his practice breathing, but the Dr looked at the cord flow and showed me how he could see he was breathing, and passed him -

I have another BPP on monday, and I hope he shows me the breathing movements again, they are very reassuring!

Catherine

30w5d and another good scan...

Baby Sam is doing well! Fluid is still a respectable 15, and he scored 8/8 on his biophysical profile. We saw nice breathing movements too! Dr said if i had just came in today, he would say everything looks normal, except for the baby being on the small side, placenta is normal, cord flow is normal etc. Dr S expects the baby to weigh at least 5 lbs at 38 weeks, which is very encouraging.

So all in all, a very good day :-)

Catherine

Surprise! I came home Saturday :-)

So...I am home! I was released Saturday morning, after almost 7 weeks at the hospital, to continue bedrest at home for God willing the rest of my pregnancy. We are shooting for a full term delivery at about 38-39 weeks in January.

I will see the Dr 2x a week for NST's and an ultrasound, and am just hoping all continues as it has the last couple weeks, I REALLY don't want to go back until this baby is ready to be delivered. They did take good care of me, but I really don't want to repeat the experience, ever!

The only prob I am having at home so far is sleeping...I decided to go off the anxiety meds and sleeping help completely, as I really shouldn't need them, but I think it may take a few days or more for my sleeping to get normal again, as right now it isn't..which is why I am writing this at 11pm, lol.

Christopher looks like he has grown 2 inches since I have been gone! They have spent more time at their dad's while I was 'in', and I look forward so much to getting back to normal.

I will update again soon, gonna try to get some sleep :-)

Catherine

Monday??

I just wanted to thank EVERYONE for their prayers and good thoughts, after yesterdays u/s, Dr S came in today and said wow, things are looking really good- I said, maybe with a couple more like that, could i go home at 32 weeks for a few weeks? He said, well I need to talk to Dr O about it, but I am thinking MONDAY. I said wow, that soon, Monday??

He said, if i didnt know any of your past history, i wouldnt have you hear at all, you are normal, controlled hypertension, slightly small baby but over 10th percentile, and normal fluid and cord/placental function....

So, I may be going home at 30 weeks, to spend the last 8 weeks of my pregnancy being "normal" modified bedrest, he said i could drive to my appts etc, just take it easy, watch my pressures etc..

Dr O may nix it and want me here longer, just to watch over me, but i am really hoping to spend the night in my own bed next week, and be able o wish my oldest a happy 14th bday in person on the 17th...

Oh what a thanksgiving to be thankful for things....

Will update tomorrow with the news for sure....

Catherine

29w4d u/s update

We still have fluid! More than last week, verging on too much, now wouldnt THAT be a twist of gestational fate, lol- we are at 18.3 now. We really dont need any more than that though, the 15-18 range is just lovely, and would like to see that again next week!

They only did 1 measurement today, and it shows 1w1d growth from last week, which would mean he has caught up one more day since last week, we wont get a full growth u/s until thanksgiving day.

Looks like Sammy is still a boy, but the gender shot wasnt as clear as some i have seen, looking down between his legs( he is head down) there is definitely something between the legs, lol - so i can only assume it is boy parts! Tech said looks like it is prob a boy to her, so we shall go with that for now! If we are surprised later, all the more fun huh? We just want a baby to take home!

Doppler flow was good, 2.3 i think, that is the s/d ratio which they tell me is good...

So, I am feeling much more confident about this fluid situation, and although I am not pushing the door down as of yet, with a couple more good u/s I think I would like to go home for a few weeks.

Oh, they reduced my BP meds again as well, on Aldomet 500 3x a day now, as apposed to 4x.

Dr S mentioned today keeping me until 35 weeks and than me coming back early jan- 37-39 weeks for delivery, isnt that amazing, we are talking about a full term delivery now?

He also gave me his thoughts on what happened to me, he still thinks it was prob some sort of autoimmune response that hit me hard at about 19 weeks, and meds to control bp helped mitigate symptoms, and the heparin actually has helped repair some of the damage and allow recanalization of blood flow to the placenta - amazing huh?

Well this was very disjointed, but long story short, all is looking good for today, and I thank God for that.

Catherine

I forgot...

Sammy weighed in at 2 lbs yesterday, which is just above the 10th percentile, at 23 weeks we were at the first percentile for growth, so he has made some progress! And also, the newest plan is to let me go to 36 weeks if growth and fluid stay in check. Secretly I am hoping I could come home for a couple weeks before that, and come back to be induced at 36 weeks, which happens to be the week of Christmas, lol.

I DO need to be released from this hospital before 2007 so the insurance will pay without a new set of deductables and out of pocket maximums...

But for today, I am patiently awaiting an evening with my husband...have a book to continue reading and all the innane TV i care to watch.

I am going to watch CSI on the computer later, CBS has a nice viewer where you can watch recent popular shows, without much commercial interuption, it is nice!

Amazing u/s update

I just got back from ultrasound, they didnt take me until 5!

I have to say, God is good, I am in shock...

My fluid level was 15.67 - we have really have no risk of cord compression now! Samuel (it's a boy, they could actually see boy parts!) is still measuring behind, but moving right along, overall measurement is 26w2d, which is 2w2d behind, i was 3 weeks behind 3 weeks ago, so he is catching up a little!

Head is measuring less than a week behind.

He flipped head down to transverse during the u/s, so i was thinking there MUST be more fluid, but was shocked to hear it is actually normal.

Dr is thrilled, and said, no that doesnt mean you can go home! (i didnt ask!)

So, although we still have very big concerns about the fluid levels between 19 and 25 weeks, i am praying there was enough for his lungs, because all right now looks good- if i continue with the good fluid levels, it would mean i can deliver naturally as weel, and avoid a csec, which would be SO awesome.

Thank you ALL for your prayers, they are working!

Catherine

28w1d and off a couple meds...

So, since my blood pressure has been remarkable low, like 110's over 50's Dr S took me off one of my BP meds yesterday, this am at 5 it was still low, like 118/57, just now it was 139/72, which is still considered ok, i hope it stays in the ok range, i don't want to become dramatic with labile BP's again!

He also made my Ativan "NPR" which means I need to request it if i want it...we shall see how this goes, the Ativan is the anti anxiety, which I don't need all the time, I had told him i refused it Sunday when Ray came to watch movies with me, I am just hoping I do ok without it. I was getting it at 5 am and 1pm - and truthfully it just chills me out, makes me a little sleepy, and I read do do whatever it takes to get through the days here...hopefully i can continue that without getting too...whatever...worked up in my own worries and stuff....

Guard changes tomorrow, so I will be seeing Dr O, but Sr S ordered the u/s already for Thursday he said- so that is cool, i will get out of this room for this first time in a couple of weeks, lol- to be wheeled downstairs and through a hallway, but heck, i will take what i can get!

Catherine

Had dinner with hubby

Raymond came and spent a few hours with me after work today, renewed my spirit - here is to another week-

Good news also, no decels on tonights strip either!

Thank you all for your comments on the last post, man, it was a hard day, but i do think I am over it :-)

Catherine

27w5d

dr s was in, our next u/s will be next thursday for growth fluid and doppler, then weekly doppler us for placenta function .

I am a mess today, i am beyong homesick and lonely, i SO want to sleep in the same bed as my husband and wake up in the same house as my kids, to fix dinner, to be there when the kids leave for and get home from school. Life hasnt been the same since the middle of August, and I am so wanting it back. I am just praying Sam is a permanent addition to our household and we can be a family, the way we are supposed to be.

I am trying to get over my extreme sadness of today tho, because there is no reason, nothing has changed for the worse, in fact my last couple strips on the baby have looked better, no big decels -

I just want to sit here and weep, and am not sure how to move past it right at this moment...

Catherine

Quick update

Dr O was in, said if i have any contractions to hook up to the moniter to see what the baby does, if they increase he will put me on meds. Doesn't care whether they are painless or not, they still squeeze the baby... so I will be paying attention to that...

Decals....

Well, Little Sam likes to decel during any sort of contraction- I have only had Braxton Hicks contractions, just simple tightening of the uterus, but Sam says no way, way to tight for me mom, and the HB drops to the 90's, then i lose it on the monitor, have to turn over to onto my side to get it back, so i dont know actually how long it takes Sam to recover, just know when i move back from my side it is normal again.

Dr mentioned yesterday that these strips will determine when the baby is born, the baby will tell us when enough is enough and it is time to get out. I just pray we catch it in a timely manner, God forbid something happen before then.

This is getting to kind of a scary time, because i have seen a decel on 3 of the last 4 strips, one wasn't related to a contraction, so hopefully if i stay sitting up or on my side we can avoid those BH contractions and keep baby baking another month or so, I pray.

Catherine

27 weeks!

Just one more week until the 28 week milestone, there is something about week 28 which make the medical staff happy, so we will be happy to reach it!

A little bump in the road this am, Sam had a pretty significant deceleration on the monitoring strip this am, big enough that the Dr wanted me to do a second strip a little later. I did, and all look ed well, I think little Sam was rolling onto the cord again, something we need to watch out for-

A am trying my best to either be sitting up or lying on either side now, as in my unmedical opinion the reclining or lying flat on the back position is putting too much gravity between baby and cord with the low level of fluid we have.

Dr O has been my Dr this week, as Dr S has been out of town at a conference, they are in the same Peri practice but it is Dr S who schedules ultrasounds and such, when he is back Thursday I assume he will tell me i will have an u/s scheduled for the following week, at 28w+. I feel like the baby has grown, so I sure hope the u/s reflects that too.

Tuesday marks the 3 week mark here - and today marks the 35 day mark till 32 weeks- i can do 35 more days right? I hope Sam can wait at least 35 days too -

Catherine

26w3d

Sorry guys for not updating more regularly sometimes typing on the laptop is much harder than just reading when you are doing it from bed! Hospital life is pretty boring when nothing extraordinary is going on (which i wont complain about...)

I am good and baby is hanging in there, with decent 2x a day tracings - my bp is totally under control which i am so thankful for- we have had a couple significant decels in the strips, but i have found if i can manage to get onto my left side a bit during that hour I dont have them, it is just hard because i am plus sized, and it is hard to keep the heartbeat without being on my back.

So for now, it is one day at a time, the Dr said my the last u/s showed the cord resistance being "so normal" he wasn't going to do another u/s for 3 weeks, and that will be for growth, so at 29 weeks another u/s, i am 26w3d now - just biding my time till i hit 28, then 30, and hopefully all the way to 34, we can hope for a 3 lber at 34 weeks, which would be awesome...

I still get moments a couple days a week where i feel the profound sadness of what isn't, that this isn't a routine pg, that i am not at home with my husband and children, but I do know i am in the best spot i can be for the baby and we have a good chance of coming home when all is said and done as a happy family of 5, so it is worth it.


Cath

25w6d and more about thursdays u/s

The doctor actually used a couple words i didnt think i would hear from him the other day

"Cautiously Optimistic"

wow...more on the ultrasound, he wasnt disappointed about any of it, even the fluid, i guess it is a little more than he expected to see with the hospital radiology dept measuring, and the cord flow resistance is much better than expected- so for now we are status quo, if the size measurement is on it means this little one picked up 7 oz in 9 days, i feel all i am doing here is eating and sleeping, so maybe that is just what s/he needs? Speaking of he or she, the tech tried for a couple min to tell, but babies legs are SO close together because of the lack of fluid, there is just no way to tell, it will be the mystery of the pregnancy for us, unless a later u/s shows us something!

Baby is heads down, so hopefully this will help Sam stay off the cord, as the placenta is top left of my uterus, dr even said it may allow a vaginal birth, man, that made we cry with joy - but later than evening during the NST baby had a pretty severe decel during a brackton hicks, so as much as i would love a vaginal birth, i am not into Russian roulette! I think we will opt for safety of course...

My parents brought Christopher here to see me, and it was so good to see all of them, Chris wrote some star was stuff on my white board, had a soda i saved for him and climbed into bed with me for a bit- no artwork for my window yet tho! still waiting on that....

Both kids are coming here with Ray tomorrow, i can believe it is night 12 tonight, and I haven't seen Caroline yet! She has been very busy of course, and a Freshman in highschool is- she had homecoming last night after the home game where she was in the halftime show, I need to see how it was, she may actually be awake now, as it is 11:20 :-)

Catherine

U/S results today

u/s today, good news is baby is growing, looks like it is maintaining its almost 3 weeks behind, but not falling any more behind- and baby weighs 1.1 lbs now, happy to break the 1 lb mark-

fluid is still barely there, 1.17 cm, praying for lung development

Talked to the Dr about "Plans"

So after talking to the Dr the biggest risk to the baby at this point of the game is a cord accident- i told him about a pretty big decel i saw on the strip a couple nights ago, he said that is the babies weight on the cord... praying Sam keeps off his cord!

I have an u/s tomorrow, he is gonna try to be there, but it just may be a hospital tech, so I might not get any info till later, but told me not to be disappointed if we don't see any further improvement in fluid of cord flow- I asked him what the ultimate plan is- he said we will just keep going as we are, until the baby shows signs of not thriving inside meor until 34 weeks when they will deliver. The risk as the baby gets bigger is what I posted above, cord accidents, what a tricky catch 22, i don't like it...we will just keep praying.

No decels on this am's strip tho, so that is good-

I will update later,

Catherine

Long day today day 8

Today just dragged on and on, I can't wait till tomorrow night when Raymond can come and see me! I am not gonna like Monday's and Tuesday's much, i can tell that now - Ray has the kids and very busy at work, but i can look forward to seeing him Wednesdays for dinner, which is nice!

I will have an u/s on Thursday. Not for growth but for fluid and hopefully placental condition.

Sammy has been moving a bit more today, I think he is in a different position because I am feeling movements up higher.

I think my parents are bringing Christopher to see me Friday afternoon, which will be a treat! He has a half day at school.

I have given the kids the job of decorating my window, as i dont have any view but the side of a building anyway, i need to decorations, we shall see if they come up with anything...

Catherine
only 4.5 hours till I am done with this day!